I’ve already extolled the benefits of having a Chinese best friend (as opposed to having a Chinese boyfriend) and one of the benefits is Color and I having crazy conversations. One of these conversations happened almost two years ago when I stayed with him in Hong Kong.
My Ex and I had just broken up, and instead of 2 people going to visit Color, it was just me. Color let me stay in his room, while he slept out in the living room, and at one point I made an off-hand (I thought) remark.
“You know, I thought since my ex isn’t here, that you and I would share the bed. Not that you had to sleep in another room.”
He looked at me like I had two heads. “I’d never sleep in the same bed as you.” What?!
You see, to me (a modern American woman) sleeping in the same bed comes down to trust. Your most vulnerable at night, right? (I’m not talking about being molested or anything, but like just general security) So I want to sleep with the person I trust the most, regardless of it’s a boy or a girl.
Color has, of course, the exact opposite feelings on the matter, and he said “no Chinese would sleep in the same bed with a person of opposite sex they were just friends with.”
Oh really, no Chinese person?
I immediately texted one Chinese friend, who was also in Hong Kong, and she said she would have no problem. Friends are friends. Then, I texted a male student, one Color is friends with too, and he said “no way.” So now it was 2-2, though I had disproven the fact that NO Chinese would do it.
“That girl is especially modern,” he said. “I think most Chinese would say no.”
Challenge accepted.
Over the next semester I surreptitiously gathered data. I asked several classes under the guise of a culture class, and about one year later, Color and I were at a tie. 47 to 47.
There was one class left to ask, and not just any class, the class Color used to be a part of. The class that we originally met through. But, I couldn’t really fit it into any class, and the semester ended before I could ask them. Then, the next semester I didn’t have them. I couldn’t ask them online and one-by-one would have taken me forever. So we just sat on it.
Until last week. While talking, Color and I were reminded of it and coincidentally I had this class the next day. “You have to ask them,” he said. And so I did.
“This is going to be very random, just trust me. Take a piece of paper and write yes or no to a questions for me.” Then I asked them if they would be willing to sleep in the same bed with a friend of the opposite sex. They wrote it down, and gave me the papers.
I didn’t even need to count them, I could see at a glance that Color had a resounding win. The final official tally was 64 to 51. So now I’m on the hook and “owe” Color something. Whatever he says I gotta do. But I don;t mind, this was one fun, and interesting, culture experiment.
Very interesting indeed! I do think Chinese are mainly still more conservative than Americans in many ways.
Totally! But I mean, I thought the college kids would be a little more open-minded…..:)
The only thing I could say is that mainland Chinese people are much more conservative than those from HK. I think most of my mainland Chinese friends would feel the same about this even feel I was being too forward.. But my HK friends, I believe they wouldn’t think it’s strange sharing with a good friend. But yea, of course not everyone thinks the same haha.
Well, all of the people I asked are originally from mainland. (2 had moved to HK the same year I visited.) And in most of my classes it was tied. It was just the one, more conservative class that tipped the scales to Color’s favor.
Although I didn’t break down the answer by sex, a quick look shows that almost all the guys wouldn’t be willing to, while almost all the ‘yes” came from girls. I think some conclusion about male/female friendships can be drawn from that too!