My HSK 5 Results *sad face*

And……………I didn’t make it. I failed HSK 5 by 11 measly points. That’s like 4-5 questions. I knew it was going to be close and I knew I would either just pass or just fail. But I was hoping for the pass.
This was my score:
Listening: 59
Writing: 59
Reading: 51
Total score: 169. Total score needed to pass: 180.
Reading is my strong point in Chinese (and listening is my weak point) so I was a little surprised at both how well I did in listening, and how poor I did in reading. Although I’m not so surprised about reading. I said at the time that the reading was hard as the characters weren’t very clear and the time limit made me really nervous. I could have killed that section if I had another 30 minutes. Alas.
The official HSK website gives you a little statistical information about the test. For instance it shows your performance vs the average. I wasn’t so much lower which made me feel a little better and the average score for August was 189. Twenty points higher than mine, but only 9 points higher than the passing point.

So, what’s my next step. Am I going to take it again?
I don’t think so. I didn’t pass, but I was close. So close. So I feel like it accomplished its purpose of getting me to that level (or close to it anyway). I learned a ton of new words, finally understand some of the tricky grammar patterns and got my listening up to a level that was higher than where it was 3 months ago. So in that sense, it was a success.
I also think tests are bullshit and meaningless and much of what I studied and had to learn isn’t relevant to daily life in China. “Learn for real life, not a test,” was a constant refrain from my friend Jason over the summer.
“I know. But I gotta learn for the test right now!” I would reply at the time. Now I don’t have a test it’s time to go back to real-life learning. Knowing the official grammar and high vocabulary is great, but I don’t want to sound like a prima donna when talking to my friends, so time to go back to actual usage learning.
But my pride still stings a bit. Tests are meaningless, but I still want to pass them, just to ‘prove’ it to myself that I can. So I think instead of HSK 5, I’m just going to wait a year, year and a half and take level 6. Level 6 is the highest and once I pass it, I will have definitely proven it to myself and there will be no higher test to take.
It’s not an outlandish goal, level 4 would have been a struggle one year ago, so I think with going to class regularly and using my chinese daily I can get to level 6 in one years time.
And there is one silver lining. This semester I’m going to take the advanced level classes. I’ve been taking class here for 3 and a half years, and have slowly worked my ways up the levels. I did level two classes 3 times, and level three 2 times. I’ve always kinda looked at advanced, the highest level at my school, as this Mount Olympus of languages where the best students sit and speak using slang and idioms while drinking oolong tea and  wearing traditional clothing. Of course it’s nothing like that; students still stumble through the vocab, avoid doing homework and ditch class, but I’m proud to finally be there.
In fact I was thinking that I don’t belong in that group just yet. That I should do level 4 one more time. But I ran into my teacher, the one who helped me prep for HSK 5 so he knows my level well, and he was the one who told me to go to the advanced class. So I figure if he thinks I’m ready I should stop being so nervous and just do it. (He’s the teacher too which makes me feel more comfortable.)
This whole HSK thing has been a real journey. Here are my past blog entries about it:
1st entry: In which I decided to take the test.

2nd entry: In which I talk about my practice methods.
3rd entry: In which I get frustrated over studying.
4th entry: In which I get discouraged and almost quit.
5th entry: In which I take the test and almost burn my study books in joy of not needing them anymore.